Oh clients from hell, I could write a book about it. Here’s the latest chapter.
me: …and this is why editing a table is problematic, all rows move. It’s easy to cross out a row on the paper but it is more complica…
client: yes, I remember we had an issue with that once when we were writing previous docu…
me: …more complicated and takes time, I will not do it in 5 minutes, it’s simply not possi…
client: I APOLOGIZE FOR TRYING TO FINISH A SENTENCE!
me: *lots of vulgar thoughts*
client: there are some edits missing? You should have guessed I expected those edits, even tho I did not mention that.
me: well, I offer 3 kinds of services – good, cheap and fast, but you can only pick two. You chose “cheap and fast” package and that won’t be good. Guessing is part of “good” package.
client: well, how about I choose fast and good?
me: well, this is when you become a priority client and you pay me more than you did.
me: well you don’t think that this is a high price, do you?
client: well no but you will get expo…
me: I DARE YOU TO TELL ME I WILL GET EXPOSURE OR BE ACKNOWLEDGED OR I SHOULD CONSIDER IT TO BE GOOD PRACTICE FOR MY OWN TEXTS AND THAT SHOULD MAKE ME HAPPY! I DARE YOU!
client: would you like more coffee? I brought you some fruits. So about that edit…
me:…I hate you so much right now. What kind of coffee?
I sold edits for tangerines and coffee. I’m a whore.